When feeling angry, bitter or worse
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”
(Eph. 4:31 ESV)
In Your Anger, Do Not Sin
Everyone becomes angry now and then, and anger itself is not always sinful. Jesus demonstrated righteous anger when He confronted what was happening in the temple. The important issue is what we do with our anger.
Anger should never be allowed to take control or remain in our hearts until it grows into something worse. Unresolved anger can develop into resentment and bitterness and eventually affect our words, relationships, and behavior.
The Bible gives us this important instruction:
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”
(Eph. 4:26 ESV)
The passage at the top warns us about six things that must be put away: bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice. Understanding what these words mean helps us recognize why they can become so destructive.
Bitterness: Deep resentment that remains in the heart, often resulting from hurt, disappointment, or an unwillingness to forgive.
Wrath: Strong, fierce, or vengeful anger.
Anger: A strong feeling of displeasure, often arising from something we believe is wrong or unjust.
Clamor: Loud, forceful, or hostile expressions of anger, protest, or discontent.
Slander: False and malicious statements that damage another person’s reputation.
Malice: The desire to harm someone or see that person suffer; extreme ill will or spite.
Watch Out! Bitterness Can Make You Captive to Sin
“For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” (Acts 8:23 NIV)
Bitterness can begin with a genuine hurt. Someone may have treated you unfairly, betrayed your trust, spoken against you, or caused you great pain. But even when the hurt is real, allowing bitterness to remain gives that hurt continuing power over your life.
God wants you free from it.
Don’t Allow a Root of Bitterness to Spring Up
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
(Heb. 12:14-15 ESV)
A root usually begins beneath the surface where nobody can see it. Bitterness can work the same way. It may remain hidden in the heart for a long time before eventually showing itself through angry words, resentment, criticism, hostility, or unforgiveness.
That is why God tells us to deal with bitterness before it takes root.
Don’t Jump to Anger
“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.” (Eccles. 7:9 ESV)
When something makes you angry, resist the temptation to react immediately. Words spoken in anger can cause wounds that are difficult to repair. Give yourself time to pray, think, and allow God to guide your response.
Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Anger
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
(James 1:19-20 ESV)
Notice the order: quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
When anger begins to rise, ask God to help you listen before speaking and pray before reacting. You may have every reason to be upset, but uncontrolled anger will not accomplish God’s righteous purposes.
You do not have to allow anger to turn into bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander, or malice. With God’s help, you can forgive, release the offense, and choose a different response.
Therefore
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
(Eph. 4:32 ESV)
When anger or bitterness begins to take hold, bring it immediately to God. Ask Him to help you forgive the person who hurt you and remove resentment from your heart. Choose kindness instead of retaliation, tenderness instead of hardness, and forgiveness instead of bitterness.
Don’t give anger time to grow roots.
Quotes
“Do not say, ‘I cannot help having a bad temper.’ Friend, you must help it. Pray to God to help you overcome it at once, for either you must kill it, or it will kill you. You cannot carry a bad temper into heaven.” — Charles Spurgeon
“To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious is brutish; and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of devils; but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine.” — Isaac Watts