When you fail to forgive

“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Col. 3:13 ESV)

Forgive as Christ forgave you

Forgiveness is a very serious subject, and the Bible has much to say about it. As believers, we are commanded to forgive others because Christ has forgiven us. Forgiveness is not based on whether someone deserves it, apologizes, or changes. It is an act of obedience that releases the offense to God. Sometimes forgiveness is deeply sacrificial. Stephen demonstrated this as he prayed for those who were stoning him to death:

“Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” (Acts 7:60 ESV)

Warnings about refusing to forgive

• Unforgiveness hinders your fellowship with God

“…if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matt. 6:15 ESV)

• Unforgiveness brings spiritual consequences

Before taking communion, believers are instructed to examine themselves.

“Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.” (1 Cor. 11:28-30 ESV)

• Unforgiveness fuels conflict

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Prov. 10:12 ESV)

Keep on forgiving

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked how many times he should forgive someone who sinned against him.

“Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (Matt. 18:21-22 ESV)

Jesus was teaching that forgiveness is to become a lifestyle, not something we measure or limit.

Jesus taught us to pray this way

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matt. 6:12-15 ESV)

Therefore

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matt. 6:14 ESV)

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32 ESV)

Quote

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.”
— Henry Ward Beecher